Utility Shield, 7 Ways to Defang Difficult People and Save Energy
Difficult people are on the hunt for a quarrel. It's not personal,
usually. It's just that you happen to be the most convenient target.
Difficult people are insecure. They want YOU think and
live like THEY think and live. Misery indeed loves company. They feel better if you are tense and unhappy.
What
can you do to instantly neutralize their negativity? You cannot stop
them from being difficult and demanding. Heaven help you if you try!
But you can control your own reactions through the amazing power of
NowFacts, and experience much less stress in your life as a pleasant
result.
What are NowFacts?
Simple, healthy and truthful
principles that you voice to yourself silently, in the present moment!
Speech is powerful! It is your connecting point back to your calm and
intelligent center. Speech instantly reminds you of the wisdom and
power you already possess.
Here are 7 NowFacts you can use when
difficult people are on the prowl. These are secret silent statements
you say to yourself:
1. I am not an actor who must obey your script.
The
difficult person has a script. In the script he writes that you get
angry, that you fight with him, that you condemn him, that you get
stressful and frustrated. Difficult people want opposition. That is
their primary aim! When you employ this NowFact you inform yourself
that you have the power of choice. You are never compelled to go along
with their script. A silent refusal to take the bait sends a very
powerful signal to the difficult person. They get it!
2. I just cannot afford you any more.
This
NowFact reminds you that some relationships carry much too high a
price. You have to let go. There is no feeling of superiority or
hostility. You simply cannot afford the relationship any more. It cost
too much. You have to move on because you know it is best for YOU and
for the other person.
3. I see your rage as childish, not forceful.
Here
is how you can heal your perceptions. This NowFact reminds you that
anger is weakness, not strength. Work with this NowFact and watch it
release its treasures of wisdom and self-command. You'll never again
cringe before an angry person.
4. You don't know it, but I remain at a safe inner distance from you.
Personal
growth widens the gap between both your own inner negativities and
those of others. You see anger from a higher place. Instead of being
immersed in it, you're above it now. You need never descend to a lower
level to accommodate an immature adult. With NowFacts, your life is in
your power!
5. I will not injure you by doing your work.
Difficult
people are very sly in getting others to carry their load. They ARE
difficult precisely because they have refused self-responsibility. We
harm adults when we do things for them that they must do for
themselves. This NowFact is compassion in action. Truth is never
clouded by sentimentality, which is nothing more than cruelty
indisguise.
6. I sense a lot of violence in your gloom.
This
NowFact is in the same category as number 3 above, "I see your rage as
childish, not forceful." It is called "reframing." Reframing teaches us
to see things through an entirely different lens. It is an amazingly
effective method for self-renewal.
Difficult people are often
gloomy. How often have we tried to cheer one of them up and been
bitten? It can be compassionate to say an encouraging word at times.
But we have to be wise! Hardened and dedicated difficult people want
your cheerful words, not to pick themselves up, but to pull you down
with them! Sense the violence behind their mask of gloom and you
empower yourself.
7. If you want a destructive fight you will have to fight all alone.
A
destructive fight is what the difficult person is after. It's what THEY
want, not what YOU want. With this NowFact you can stay in your own
clear skies.
If you refuse to battle the difficult person on
their own turf, what can they do about it? The only way they can
control you is if you catch the negative ropes they toss. Anger, guilt,
frustration -- all these negative ropes fall to the ground, unclaimed
by you, once you learn to leave the problem with the person who has it.
Conclusion
Remember,
these NowFacts are voiced silently within yourself, unless you know you
are alone. They help you ignite self-understanding you already possess
but have temporarily forgotten. Difficult people seem to have power
only when your True Power is temporarily dormant. Wake it up!
Nothing
is more beneficial than standing up for what you know to be true. Don't
let the world and its drowsy people tell you what is true for you. Tell
yourself! Passivity in the face of falseness is the underlying cause of
the world's problems. With NowFacts you reclaim your life with its
inherent happiness, intelligence and humor. Nothing is more fun!
Tom
Russell is the author of Several eBooks, including "The Power of
Vertical Thinking" and "Seven Secrets to Light Up Your Essence." He is
the host of and the editor of
the SuperWisdom E-zine, read biweekly by more than 20,000 people
in 42 countries. He assists professional salespeople and
entrepreneurs to live with greater energy, focus and spiritual
insight. He has been interviewed on more than 200 radio and TV
talk show.
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